Spring 2026 Comedy Writings
Unfunny Cantaloupes By Paige Murray My mind is blank. I don't know how to be funny. My momma says it's in my jeans. Wait. That’s not right. Genes –there we go. Anyway, my father and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his–well you get the gist. They were all comedic in some type of way. Some did stand up comedy, some wrote stories, some wrote joke books, some wrote scripts, etcetera etcetera. So basically, it’s in my blood, or so I’ve been told. I don’t believe it though. Here, I’ll show you. I will tell you the funniest joke I can think of. Ready? Okay. Why do all cantaloupes have weddings? Because they cant-elope! Ha! Get it? No? Oh well, I told you, I’m just not funny. Everyone expects me to be some kind of hilarious person just because my father is and his father was before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and so on and so forth, ...