3rd Per. 2019-20 YGA Memoir Entries

Dear Love

Ashlynne Corbin

The first time I heard of suicide was when I was in elementary school. The counselor had come to our class and mentioned it, but it didn’t really resonate with me. Suicide was something I was told about more and more as I grew older. Still, while I understood it, I couldn’t even fathom the thought of it being real around me, until one night when I came face to face with it. One night, a good friend called me and said that she wanted to kill herself. I didn’t really know what to do, I was scared. I knew I couldn’t lose them, but then again, I had no idea what to do. I was 12! They had actually attempted suicide before, so that made me even more nervous. The only thing that I knew to do was pray, so I did. I believe that this prayer is what enabled me to help her. I talked to her for a while, until I was sure things were okay. I offered her my love and time, and I believe that sometimes the best thing you can give a person is love and time.

Often I see this girl, and while we are not as close anymore, I still check up on her. She has grown so much, and I’m so thrilled that she is still here. That night, I wasn’t the one who saved her at all. Really, she had been the one to save me. I had been falling down a rabbit hole that I did not want to go down, but she helped me to realize the power of friendship and humility. Dear 12 year old us, thanks for saving each other.

Love is a word that has no solid definition. It varies depending on who you ask and on who the love is for. A love for a parent is different than a love for an animal, in the same way a love for a spouse is different than a love for a friend. I believe love comes in many forms, and in ways we can’t see. When people think of love, they typically think about butterflies and a box of chocolate, but I don’t think that way at all. Sure, some of those things can come from love, but that’s not what it is. Love isn’t physical nor is it traceable. Even so, you can still love without being IN love. I think of love as a kindness and general respect despite social standing. I think kindness goes a long way, whether you see it or not.

Just the other day, I was having a hard day, and all I wanted to do was go home and cry. I was crying in my class before the teacher dismissed me to go to the bathroom to get myself together. I sat in the stall for the longest time, just crying, but I decided I should wipe my face. So I left the stall and just stood at the sink. As I did this one girl, whom I did not know, came into the bathroom, obviously to just get out of class as she got on her phone almost instantly. We didn’t say anything to each other, and it was simply so. About a minute later, another girl came in the bathroom to meet up with her friend. She washes her hand in the other sink, and I could tell she had noticed me because she looked up for a second. She seemed a little timid, but I didn’t really think much of it. She then asked me if I was okay. 

“Yes, well, I mean not really, I’m just having a bad day,” I told her quickly.

“Well it will get better, just let me know if i can do anything for you,” she replied. After that she went over and starting looking over the phone with her friend, but that meant more to me than I think she realized. That was love in one of the greatest forms. We were strangers, but there she was, offering her hand to me, a girl she didn’t know. The funniest thing about it now is that she probably hasn’t even thought about it since, but I have. I wish I could just tell her how much it meant to me that day, so, dear girl in the bathroom, thank you.

I think that love comes in so many different forms, and sometimes you just have to look for it. Love is my dad taking the charred hotdogs so that we don’t have to eat them. Love is that lady in the bathroom who lets you go before her just because you really have to go. Love is knowledge of mistakes and giving kindness anyway. Love is untouchable. I’ve both seen and felt what love is, and I can say that love makes all the difference. At the end of the day, you can have all the stuff in the world, but if you don’t have love, you truly have nothing. At the end of it all, through regrets and mistakes, through trial and error, I choose love. I’ll always choose love. There’s no memory sweeter than one with love and joy. I’ve messed up so many times throughout my life, and every single time, my friends and family welcome me back with open arms. I don’t believe that there’s a way I could ever stray too far away that they wouldn’t take me back. There is nothing better than someone forgiving you when you’ve royally messed up. I’m so thankful for the love I’ve been able to experience from people around me. The joyous song of comfort and unitedness brings me home and leaves room for many more people be welcomed into my family. Forever, you’ll hear me singing to my enemies, family, friends, and strangers, I love you. Dear world, I love you.

Family Ties

Malorie Warren

My grandparents and great grandparents have always been my favorite people. From a very young age they have taught me everything I need to know about life. Values, family history, how to be a good person, and God. They truly made me who I am today, and I am very thankful for each of them. Ma Ma and Guy, Grandmother and Grandaddy (the greats), and Mimi, Bobo and Bonanna, and Granny and Papa (the grandparents).

Ma Ma and Guy are the first that I have crystal clear memories of. Ma Ma is my great grandmother (my mom’s mom’s mom), and she kept me every day (except Mondays) for the first four years of my life. Everything she said to me and taught me helped form who I am. In a single day I could count on her saying each one of these things: “Don’t grit your teeth,” “Pick up your toys,” “Do you want some Cheerios?”, “Go get the blanket so we can take a nap,” and best of all, “I love you.”  Guy was her fiance of quite some time, and my very best friend. We put a puzzle together every single day, without fail. He fed me peanut butter crackers and made me laugh like no one else ever has. He showed me that you didn’t have to be a biological family to love each other like one.

Grandmother and Grandaddy are my mom’s dad’s parents. I didn’t stay with them as often, but they’re my family and they’ve taught me priceless things all the same. Grandmother used to make a gingerbread house with me around Christmas every year and she would always ask me to organize her cabinets. I knocked over the gingerbread houses more than I kept them together and I probably made a big mess of all her silverware, but she just loved to let me feel like I was doing something important. I remember after the first time I “organized” all the stuff in her cabinets she bragged to my parents and the rest of our family about how good it looked and how it was the cleanest she had ever had her kitchen. In my eyes now it was a small victory, but back then I had never felt so important. They taught me that small victories are still victories, and above all love each other and everything else will fall into place. 

Granny and Papa. I could write at least a hundred books about them.They kept my little brother the way Ma Ma kept me, but they had the same close relationship with both of us. Papa was essientially the perfect grandpa. He was everything good and kind that a person could be. He was funny and so smart and he loved to tell stories about anything from his childhood to when he fought in Vietnam. Papa taught me that your greatest strength is found in your family. Granny is equally as perfect. You can always count on her to cook anything you want, she can fix anything that is broken, and she will never give up on you. Everything that I know about cooking, baking, and cleaning I learned from Granny. These two gave me the very best memories. My most vivid memory is one from when I was about six. Granny, my brother Colby, my cousin Drake, and I were watching Jurassic Park. Granny and I were laying on the couch and the boys were sharing a big chair on the other side of the room. We got to the part of the movie where the velociraptor jumps out at the screen and scares Laura Dern’s character Ellie Sattler. Being that I was so young and had never seen the movie I was already scared (Granny was too but she’d never admit it). When this scene occured Granny and I screamed and rolled off of the couch straight onto the floor. The boys laughed so hard they were crying, and after we collected ourselves Granny and I laughed too. To this day we still talk about that night anytime we’re all together. 

Mimi is my mom’s mom. Bobo is my mom’s dad, and Bonanna is my mom’s stepmom. Mimi used to always have us all come to her house on Halloween so the whole family could trick or treat together, and every year we watch the Christmas parade at her house because she lives right on the road that it is on. She showed me to always welcome my family with open arms. Bobo and Bonanna live in a different county than us so we don’t see them as often as everyone else. When I was little we would go out to their farm all the time and ride four wheelers and rangers through the woods. Bonanna’s family owns a lake house so we would go there during the summer and I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun with anyone else. They showed me that going fast and letting loose isn’t a bad thing. 

Whether it’s organizing silverware, putting puzzles together, or watching a dinosaur movie everything our grandparents say and do impacts our lives. Sure our parents raise us, but I am convinced that the most influential people in anyone’s life are their grandparents and great grandparents. Through all my memories I can see how I’ve grown under their supervision and guidance. No one could ever matter to me as much as these impactful people do. 

The Crazy Love for Running

Kayla Kerce

I have run cross country for the past four years, but I never found the joy in running. The only reason I ran was to stay in shape for soccer season. Most people who run cross country would say that they love it. They love the pounding of their feet when they hit the pavement, the sound of their hard breathing as they speed up the pace, their heart beating outside of their chest as it tries to keep up with the rest of the body. I didn’t like any of that. It wasn’t until the end of my freshman cross country season, that I learned and developed the crazy love others have for cross country. 

Coach Cranford had us training the day after I finished eighth grade. We trained all summer long and had our first cross country meet at the end of August facing the treacherous Kosh Klassic, three miles full of many different hills varying from short and steep to long and aching. When Coach said that we were going to run rain or shine, that’s exactly what he meant. We practiced every day either in the blazing hot sun, a mix of strong wind and hard rain, tank tops and shorts in forty-degree weather, or early in the morning in the pitch black with the occasional working light poles. For most of the season, I just did just enough to get by. I did enough to keep me in the top ten because I didn’t think I would ever be able to get into the top seven. I was fine with being just an alternate for region and state.

It wasn’t until the two-mile tuneup, as Coach likes to call it, that I had a different mindset. I started the two-mile race as the eighth runner on the team, and I finished the race as the fifth runner on the team. To see the shock on the fans’ faces as I rounded the corner to the finish line is something that I will remember for years. As I finished that race, I saw Coach Cranford just smiling as big as he could. Coach kept telling me all season that I could be top seven if I gave enough effort, but I didn’t believe him until that moment. We both knew it had finally clicked with me that he was right. I was so mad at myself that it took me all season to finally realize my potential on the team.

I no longer wanted to be an alternate, I wanted to be racing with varsity, I wanted to prove to others and prove to myself that I deserved to be on varsity, that I could fulfill the position, that I could work hard for the team. But I was afraid it was too late to prove myself.

Next, we ran region and only the top seven could race there. One of my fellow teammates who was top seven had just recovered from an injury and Coach didn’t want to risk her getting hurt again, so he had me run the race. Coach said to me the day of the race, “KK, if you run today like you ran that two-mile tuneup, then there’s a high chance that you’ll be racing at state.”

 I knew that this was my time to prove myself. My team toed the start line, we were given a course route, the gunshot, and we were off running. We all stayed together in a pack at the very front for half of the race, and then we slowly started having gaps within each other. We were about 400 meters away from the finish line and I passed the girl in front of me, and I just kept going and going. I finished the race in sixth place overall, fifth place for the team.

As we prepared for the state meet, we pushed hard at every practice. Coach didn’t tell us who was officially running at state until two days before the race. He told me that I was running state and I didn’t know whether to feel excited or fearful. I was excited because I would get to be part of the varsity team at state, but I was fearful of letting my team down. One of my biggest fears has always been letting others down. 

State came faster than I was expecting and before I knew it, we were warming up for our race. It was sunny outside with a brisk breeze, making it very chilly as we warmed up and stretched. 

It was finally time for our race. Our cross-country team has won the 2AA state championship for the past three years, so all the teams had been watching us. We had so many supporters all drive the three hours to watch us race. As I stepped up to the start line, I felt fear, anxious, adrenaline. I had so many emotions running through me as I waited for the gun to go off. What if my legs give out? What if I let down my team? All of these thoughts were going through my head. I took a deep breath and told myself that I could do this. “Runners take your mark... Set ...POW!”. All 200 of us were off into the woods with nothing but dust behind us. I knew what I had to do. I had to give it my all. I kept telling myself that this was my last race as a freshman, I was a freshman running varsity. That was something to be proud of, but it was not enough for me. I had the hunger, the adrenaline, the excitement. Midway through the race, I got hit with a side cramp, and I knew I had to push through it. I stabbed at my side in an attempt to get rid of the pain and just kept on pushing. During the race, I would hear many coaches yelling, “Stay with that girl in the purple”, “Pass the girl in purple, she’s hurting”, “You have to pass that girl”. I knew that they were all talking about me. Little did they know that by them saying that just made me run harder. I gave that race every ounce of energy I had in me. The feeling of finishing something you had worked so hard for is an indescribable feeling. As our team walked over to the award ceremony, all we could do was smile, knowing that we had all pushed so hard for this moment. 

The moral of the story is never take anything for granted. I took my top ten position on the team for granted and never fully showed my capability until it was almost too late. Who knew running could benefit my life and my decisions so much? All you do is move your feet and breathe, right? Wrong, cross country has taught me how to run the hundreds of hills in a race, but also how to overcome the thousands of hills that life throws at me.

The Most Memorable Year Ever

Zeb DuBois

Back in the summer of 2018 going into my eighth grade football season we had a special feeling about the upcoming football season. Our first practice that season was on June 26th.  I wasn’t able to make the first practice. So it gave me a sick feeling that I had lost my spot over a beach trip. So the rest of that summer I worked to get a spot then, eventually I got on the offensive line. That year was magical with more ups than downs and would eventually end in the result that we put so much work in for.

Our first practice in pads was August 1st and it was pretty good but that was just the beginning of over a two month journey we were about to take. We had one of the best head coaches in my opinion that there ever was. He had character and was a true leader of our team. He made everything seem to work out perfect that year. We only lost twice and when we did we got over it and came back even stronger. All the stories and life lessons he taught us meant more than just football. That year we learned special life lessons aside from just football.

Once school started practice was more gruesome but still loads of fun because we knew that we were going to do something special that year. We practiced in pads twice a week then a walk-through on Wednesday then the best day of the week… Thursday where we could take out our anger and hard work that week on other teams. We cruised through the first couple games and then we met a worthy opponent who gave good contest but we outplayed them.

Jeff Davis County was the first team to ever give us any trouble that year. They played us with just straight effort. We were way more talented than their team but just did not to seem to have it that whole game. Our team consisted of a decent offensive line, a quarterback that could throw the ball better than most high school quarterbacks and not to forget a good rusher, great receivers that could get any ball that was thrown near them. Anyways that game came down to the absolute wire. We went into overtime and our defense got an interception to set us up for the punch in. Around midfield one of our receivers was wide open but made a simple mistake and muffled the ball. Everyone sighed knowing that, that could’ve sealed the deal and carried us to the next game. No need to worry though we got the ball back and with a little magic we were in the endzone for the score and what became the winning touchdown to finish it up.

We cruised past teams after that game and then came Vidalia. At that point in the season us and Vidaila were the only teams still undefeated so one of us was going to loose the throne that day. It was a very warm day in September and the day did not start out good for us that game. They had an explosive run game and ran it down our throats putting up twenty-eight points by the end of the. But back to halftime it was only 14-0 so we still had hope but they came out gunnin’ again and that was the first loss of our season but it was good for us because it only made us way stronger for the upcoming games ahead. Our coach was very encouraging and helped us that week at practice to let us know that it’s not over and much is left to come.

After our first loss we played another team then beat them after that we had our rival Dodge County. Our coach attended Dodge County his school years and back in the summer he would reflect on his days at Dodge and how bad he wanted us to beat his alma mater. That week was when Hurricane Micheal struck and we missed about the whole week because we did not have any power and also we didn’t practice at all that week. We went into that game Saturday very unprepared. The whole game was pretty close but we couldn’t pull it out in the end. This was last game of the regular season it played a factor in seeding for the playoffs. The only thing that was determined that game was who had home field advantage the next week.

In the end it was fortunate that we actually lost that game because it is very difficult to beat the same time twice. So the week after that we played them again in the first round of the playoffs and it was also a very close with a different outcome. Our defense came up with some major stops and we had a great game passing and pulled out the victory which never gets old and we were used to doing.

The night of the championship game was one of the best days of my life if not the best. We had an explosive start scoring a touchdown and that became a regular that night. The crowd went crazy because the high school did not have a very good year so they had something to cheer about. As the final seconds ticked off the clock I think I came to tears because that was the greatest team to ever go through that school. Going back to all the hardship through summer I had a very satisfactory feeling. That season and summer was some of the best memories I have made would love to accomplish these same goals in the future for my high school.

A Six Letter Word

Angela Wells

Cancer is the devil doing his best work. It tears families and bonds apart or at least tries to. Some come out stronger and some don’t come out at all. My family is one of the lucky ones, at least in my eyes we are. No one wants to find out that someone they are close to has cancer, but for a child it is different. Children tend to always see the good in things, at least that’s how I was. I never thought anything bad would happen to me or my family. But it turns out bad things were inevitable. 

The first time I found out someone close to me had cancer, I was heartbroken. My grandmother was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma in May of 2018. Before this, I had never dealt with true emotional pain.I’ve had family get sick and pass, but nothing ever really affected me like this. I am close to my grandmother like no one else. 

At the time she lived in Jacksonville, Florida. Where the beaches were close and the palm trees were abundant. My Aunt and Uncle lived in a double-wide with their one year old, Matthew, he was a handful. She was trying to help them get their life started and do as much for them as she did for me and my mom. Every summer I would go to Florida, from almost the day after school got out to the week before school started up again. This summer was different than the ones before it. We didn’t go to the beach nearly as much, we hardly left the house, and I started noticing her strength go down. I noticed how pale her skin started to look, her cheeks falling in, the color in her hair fading away, the tattoos in her skin fading to grey, how none of her clothes fit her as they did before. I knew she had trouble watching Matthew while my aunt was at work. I started taking him outside more to go look at the ducks in the pond, kicking around a ball, and taking trips to the park.

I walked into the kitchen while my grandmother was making herself a drink. She grabbed me by the arm and whispered in my ear, “You can’t tell anyone I told you because I promised I wouldn’t, but I have cancer.” I remember saying it’s okay I won’t. I walked outside and just continued chatting with my mom and aunt. I didn’t really get that she was very sick at the time. It just didn’t register in my head I guess. The night was restless for me, all I could do is think about what could happen. All these what-if questions I couldn’t keep from chasing me. Every corner I turn was another “What if they can’t treat it,” and “what if she’s gone forever.” For months I had these demons just wait to find a crack in my wall. I don’t remember when they finally told me it just wasn’t as significant as her telling me herself. I remember thinking “What if the only reason she told me is because she’s going to die?” I tossed and turned, never getting a good night’s sleep. I started feeling as if I was being suffocated from the inside out. These questions never left my head, yet they couldn’t take my smile away. I treasured every moment I spent with her knowing that one day I might not be able to see her again.

After a long year and a half we found out she was finally cancer-free. All the chemo and praying worked; I had never been happier. That is until next summer. My mom had been dealing with some sickness issues for four years. But just like with my grandmother, I never thought it worrisome.

It took years for the doctors to diagnose her. They tried blaming it on everything in the book. Yet again it was summer news. School had let out and I was off on my way to Florida. For the first time in two years, life was finally going back to normal. A few weeks after going down we had to come back. I was told that me and my grandmother were going down to visit my mom, but my aunt would be coming up with us and taking me back to Florida.

I got out of the car, ran up our back porch and hugged my mom. I had missed her a lot, as I always do when I leave for the summer. She hugged me and I felt something different like she was scared of something. After hugging me she said, “Come to my room with me, we need to talk.” Me being me, I thought I was in trouble for something, but I couldn’t figure out what for. She sat down on the bed and patted next to her. She started to say,“I wanted to be able to tell you in person. I'm having surgery Thursday. And your grandmother is going to be staying with me to help out.” I was mad. But instead of showing my true reactions I let my other emotion show, sadness. I asked her why, and all she said was “There's some bad things in my stomach that the doctor needs to take out.” Now that I think back on it, it was a kiddy answer, but I was okay with it. She had the surgery, everything was okay. Except I still didn’t know why she had to have surgery. I was told later that my mom had two types of ovarian cancer. I was so mad at the fact that she kept it from me. She didn’t want to tell me until the doctors knew all the details. No matter how mad I was, I would still be there for her, no matter what. Because that’s what family does, even when things try to rip your world apart.

Long Lives B

Logan Bryan

Because of privacy reasons, some names will not be used.

I never really understood it when people told me to hold on to the things and people in my life. I have always heard over and over that you should even the little relationships with others. The reason they would say this was because you never know when you could loose someone. At the least expected moment, someone you love could be gone forever. It all finally clicked in my head when B had died.

I had met B in the summer of 2018. We were both working at the local church's vacation bible school. We were a few days in and I had seen him around but I had never talked to him. He was really close to my cousins, Mason and Jenna, and always hung around with Mason.

It was dinner time on the third night at the church and B had walked in carrying a McDonalds bag. I had been talking with Mason when he came up and gave her the bag of food. She hugged him and thanked him. 

“You jealous?” Mason looked at me and winked. She knew how much I loved McDonalds.

“Yeah maybe just a little.” I laughed and stole one of her fries.

“This is Logan. She’s my little cousin,” Mason introduced us.

“Nice to meet you,” I said kind of shyly.

“You too. And hey, I’ll get you Mcdonalds next time I get the chance,” B said to me.

The rest of the night we all hung out and surprisingly had a really good time. We ended up going to B’s house and went swimming. That night I had a feeling me and B would become good friends. And that is exactly what happened.

When you loose someone, whether it’s a death, distance, or a fight, you go through some of the worst pain. For weeks it’s like your on some emotional rollercoaster, and every drop you go down changes how you feel. When you get the news, when you realize you've lost them, the air is sucked out of your lungs. You try so hard to breathe but you just can’t. It feels as if  the world is closing in on you and you can not move. You are tied down and nothing you do can get you free.

One night, later on in the summer, Mason, Jenna, B, and I all went to McDonalds for supper. We got there and ordered our food. I was the last to order so I was the last to get my food. While I was waiting for my order, everyone went to get a table. Finally when my check number was called, I went to sit down with the rest of them.

“What did you get?” B asked me as I took a seat beside Jenna.

“Chicken nuggets,” I replied. 

“Why not a burger?”

“I don't eat burgers,” I laughed, knowing this would surprise him.

“You're crazy,” he smiled and shook his head. 

We finished eating and as we were walking out, B turned to look at me.

“You know what. I’m gonna start calling you chicken nugget girl.”

“That’s fine by me,” I said with a smile on my face”

Ever since that night, I have been known as “chicken nugget girl” by my group of friends.

It’s crazy how hard losing someone can hit you. One moment you are happy and content and then the next you get a call telling you that your friend is gone. Dead. You try to come up with every possible way to convince yourself that it’s not true. That it can’t be true.  That you misunderstood. It’s all just some crazy dream and you will wake up at any moment now and it will all be soon over. But as the time passes by and your body does not wake up, your mind does. You realize that maybe this is real life. That maybe this isn’t a dream. That you will never see that person again.

It was Saturday, November 16th. I had woke up around ten and was now practicing keyboard because I was playing at church the next morning. While practicing, I got a call from Jenna.

“Hello?” I said when I answered the phone.

“Logan?” Jenna said. Her voice was shaking and I could tell she had been crying.

“Hey, whats wrong?”

“He’s dead Logan,” her sobs grew louder.

“Who? Jenna what are you talking about?” 

“B.”

She continued to tell me what had happened.

B was over at his friends house and had slept in while his friend went to go hunting. When he got back, his gun accidentally went off and shot B in the head.  It was around nine in the morning and an ambulance came. While in the hospital, B died.

Loosing someone so unexpectedly like that can really impact you. Even if you were never incredibly close to them it still can hurt so much. So much so, you get knocked off track. All the goals and plans you once had become unimportant. Everything is dull. You loose track of time. Everything crumbles around you. 

Overtime these feelings go away and you start to get better. You are able to go on with your day and somehow make it through even with the constant reminder in the back of your head of the terrible thing that happened.

In the end, though, everything becomes good again. The world around you is less gray. You find yourself smiling when months ago you couldn’t. Once again you are happy. You will always have the thoughts and memories in the back of your mind of that person but deep down you know you are okay. That everything is going to be just fine.

Why

Luke Churchwell

I took one last breath of crisp morning air before the gun erupted above all the noise of people cheering. The sun was slightly covered by clouds, with little breeze, as I looked out and scoped the course filled with pine trees hills, low-lying bright green grass, and close to three-thousand people wandering the area. I remember how my mom hugged me earlier before and said, “All you.” I had my knees bent and eyes wide toward the race director with the gun. BANG! And we were off. Thirty-three gunshots went off throughout this season but this one was much more meaningful. When I was in sixth grade, I was forced into running cross-country because all of my friends did. I hated to hear the gun because I always knew it was the start of bragging rights among my friends, and I never won. My first race of sixth grade ended with me getting sprinted out in the very last one hundred meters of the race by my best friend, and he got all the attention; jealousy tore me on the inside. State was the biggest race of my life up until this point, and I was no longer jealous of anything… just hungry for victory. We came around a sharp curve right before the half mile marker and I was right behind the leader. He had been highly anticipated to win the middle school state cross country championship, but here we were, and a kid from Bleckley County who had not been in any mentions and hardly even noticed was in second place as we approached the “go hill.” I had run this hill close to eight-hundred times before this race. The most pain I ever felt before was right here in these very footsteps I was taking as I raced up it. This was where I made most of my moves in all of my races this season. However, Coach Cranford, my cross-country coach, and I had agreed that this was a bigger race. A few weeks prior to this race lots of talk went on about how I had no chance of even competing with these top runners, but I’ve never listened to anyone anyways, so why start now. My grandpa, who had been in my life ever since I took my first breath, always had faith in whatever I put my mind to. He told me the week before, “If you want to be the greatest, you have to be better than the best.” I pictured his spoken words in my head during every race. 

We made it halfway through the race and I was breathing on his neck. I was nearly missing the clip of his heels every step. I was sure now that I wanted to make my move and take the lead. We went downhill in an ally of pine trees, and passed a sign that said ‘Bleckley County Cross Country’ It was an old sign that hid behind the trees in the woods and everytime I pass it, it reminded me of why I do it, why I run. during practices, warm-ups, and just afternoon jogs on the trails. I do this sport for the glory of God, I thank the man up above everyday that I am who I am. I do this sport for my mom and dad, they’ve been supporting me since I started this long journey. I do this sport for my school. Bleckley County is the place where I call home, and this sign puts everything into perspective because this sign is not seen by many; its too deep in the woods but for the right people it reveals itself. And that's exactly how I look at my town, Bleckley county is small and there's not much here. And It’s never easy coming from a small town and having big dreams because many small minded people will laugh at them and tell you how you will never achieve those goals but perseverance has taught me that no matter what the dream is, if you put your head down and work hard enough...any dream can come true.

 We began to open up our stride as I could still feel the blonde kid, wearing a blue jersey right behind me, opening his stride along with me. I thought he was beginning to feel tired but I was wrong, he paced right beside me as I took a glance at him and he did the same towards me. Four hundred meters left in this fight, and he was still swinging. We made our way up our final hill with two hundred meters left. My mind began to give up and I almost let go, and slowed down but I saw my mom at the top of the hill, screaming, “This is what you’ve been working for… All you baby!” I looked up to the sky, as if I was asking God to give me the strength to carry on, and looked back down at the ground with only one hundred meters left, we were side by side. We approached the exit of the woods and we were revealed to all the fans. I put my heart and soul into these last fifty meters and he began to disappear behind me as I heard hundreds of fans from counties all of Georgia cheering. I became the Georgia middle school state cross country champion. I turned around immediately after I crossed the finish line and shook my opponents hand, yet both of us were breathing too heavy to spit out any words. As I walked to the podium minutes after my race, I began to pray. I thanked God for putting me in this position, and giving me a reason to do what I do, because if I did not have any ‘whys’ I would have never won that race.  Our whys should always outweigh our excuses.

The Neighborhood

Eli Mullis

I collapsed on the couch, my shirt stuck to my body, drenched in sweat. I had just finished a dash for my life, across a stretch of one-third of a mile. This sprint was caused by the old, scary man who lived across the street. He had caught me in his backyard and I instinctively, took off dashing. I would not have to deal with this but I was playing wiffle ball at my neighbor’s house. After we were done we decided to go look for his cat in the old man’s yard, which is where he caught us. To the old man’s credit this is still the fastest my heart has ever beaten.

While going to whoever’s house I wanted during anytime of day without asking ,was one of the best benefits of living in my neighborhood. The young parties thrown were the best. It was all the neighborhood kids plus their best friends, making for the best times imaginable. The “party of the year” was always, my best friend to this day, Luke’s. At this party we would have slipping slides, fishing, football games, and mass hide-n-seek games. All surrounded by twenty young boys, how his parents managed this I still do not know. 

“Quiet, I can hear them close to us,”I said to my close friend James. We had been hiding for thirty minutes, everyone was “it” except us. We were under an old fallen pine tree. I have no idea how we laid on the rough, brown pine needles, which poke like a real needle. As he and I expected they were soon walking straight to us, but we decided to remain hidden instead of running. As the approcahed I felt my pulse quicken. My head was throbbing, not from pain, but pure adrenaline. As they stepped on top of the fallen tree, we were under, there was a sudden lurch. One kid had fallen down and was no more than a foot beside me. I felt a sudden rush in my throat, half wanting to laugh and the other wanting to scream. Everyone rushed over to him,  and my friend and I were discovered. As we were found, the others quickly realized the branch above contained a snake stretched out along the rugged bark of the pine. To this day, I have never felt that much excitement and fear, and it is still a common story told, when together.

Growing up, the house closest to mine, was my young childhood best friend. We did everything together, even though she was a girl, we were inseparable. When I was around eight years old, I heard the news, she was moving. It all happened so fast, from being together everyday, to not seeing her in the last seven years. As my best friend left me, it seemed my sister’s arrived. When our new neighbors moved in, instead of me going to that house everyday, it was my sister. Eventually, we saw her best friend move away too. 

As our middle school years in the neighborhood, it went by too quick. It was also much different. During this time, there were no neighborhood wide get-togethers, no wiffleball games, no mysterious adventures. The only thing we would do was swim together on summer nights. Middle school years are those where girls become the main priority and you are introduced to lots of new things. So, whoever the neighborhood kids were with at the time, would come and hang out with us, at the pool. These were times when we experienced a lot of new things and grew into who we are today, I can still feel the late humid nights soaking into my skin. The thought of these nights brings a simple sense of joy and ultimate peace.

While growing up I never knew the games we played would shape me into the athlete I am today. As a current ninth grader I am a varsity athlete for baseball and football, causing me to play against kids years older than me. Growing up as the youngest in our neighborhood, I had to play versus older kids and be tough. During this time, I had no idea it was shaping me to perform at an older age level. It seems weird to think by just having fun with friends, I started athletic development early.

Over these years a lot has changed over the years in my neighborhood. New neighbors, best friends leaving, and kids doing things they definitely should not have. Today, almost all the neighborhood is in highschool or college, but it is different when we see each other now. We do not live in the moment, but talk about our old times in “the neighborhood. I would not trade these days for anything, all my lessons learned, has shaped me into the person I am today. It is the place I call home, and maybe one day my kids can experience moments, in “the neighborhood”.

My Odd New Family

Sarah Harbin

I didn't admit it to myself, but I was scared. It wasn’t because I dreaded school. I was terrified because it would be my first year in the Gifted class. And I wouldn't have my sister there to help me get through it. Would I be welcomed into the class? How would they treat me? My heart hammered through my chest. I worried that everyone in the hall could hear it.

“Just sit wherever. If I have to move you guys around, I will.” Mrs. Knight told us as we filed in the room. I quickly walked over to a seat at the far left of the room. Everyone was loud and thankfully didn’t notice me. Who knows what would happen if they did.

“Mr. Collins is great!” 

“Yeah, but algebra will be so hard.”

“Oh come on! Algebra will be so easy.”

“Hey, Sarah! How was your summer?” Ashlynne asked.

“Oh, hey Ashlynne,” I say nervously,” Umm...it was okay, I guess. How about you?

“It was really good. I hope you love Gifted as much as I do. I’m sure you’ll fit in great."

“Thanks, Ashlynne, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

"Sure thing."
"Hey, Sarah!" Malorie called.

"Oh, Sarah! I didn't know you were in this class!" Logan turned.

Before I knew it, I was enveloped in a conversation with Ashlynne, Logan, Kayla, Lacy, Malorie, Angela, Lily, and Ivy. I already felt so much better. Now my only worry would be physical science. 

I walked into the room quickly, hoping the others wouldn't notice my tears. Why couldn't I just hold it together? Couldn’t I have just waited until I was home, or at least by myself?

"Sarah? What's wrong?" the others asked as they head over. 

"Nothing."

"Oh come on. You're crying." Malorie said rolling her eyes.

"Malorie!" Ashlynne exclaimed.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that," she said sheepishly.

"I kind of just want to be left alone right now."

¨Hey, it's okay to not be okay,¨ Ashlynne said.

“I know,” I reply quickly.

“I don’t think you do, but we’re here if you want to talk about it.”

"Thanks."

"If I need to fight someone for you I will,” Malorie added.

"I think you mean we will," Angela said.

They walked away arguing as only a family can, which of course, was loudly.

“ Three, two, one, go!”

Most of the class was gone on the Washington trip, only Logan, Cadence, Lily, Josh, Chase J, Me, and a few others were in class. Mrs. Knight let us bring snacks and chill because we finished all of the work she had for us. Right now, Josh, Lily, Brian, and Chase were doing a sit-up contest. Because of course, they were bored and “there wasn’t anything better to do!”

“I’m out, I haven’t been exercising since cross country season is over, so I’m out of shape,” Chase said, out of breath after about fifteen sit-ups.

“Yeah, Josh!”

“Come on, Lily, you’ve got this!”

“I’m out, too,” Lily said ruefully after forty.

“You win, Josh,” I said, but start laughing when he keeps going,” You can stop, you know.”

“Nope...I have to go...all the way,” he huffed. He stopped at one-hundred as all of us cheered him on.

I used to think that extracurriculars and good grades were all that amounted from school, but once I joined the Gifted program, I learned that families can grow from the weirdest places. Before the Gifted class, I was used to students that put each other down without even thinking about it. But these students were used to each other and so openly included me in their mismatched support system of a family that has taught me so much.

Josh taught me to follow through and only stop when you can’t go any farther. And when you can’t go farther, your family will carry you to the end. Logan, Kayla, Ashlynne, Malorie, and Angela taught me what friendship is. Friendship is laughter, love, apologizing, and most of all, that it is okay to not be okay because friends have your back. They all taught me that nothing can hold back a family as long as it is full of those who care, give effort and treasure kindness. Above all, it showed me that love and learning can be interconnected. That you can do anything as long as there are people to back you up, but also tell you when you’re wrong.

It was almost laughable that I had been scared at the beginning of the year. And already, it was the end of the year. It would be alright, though. After summer was over, I knew it would be as if nothing had changed at all, because nothing can change the love in a family of any kind, especially this one.

Band Kid

Lily Brooks

The glow of the stage lights sparked off my glasses, blocking me from seeing the audience. All I could see was the director, my music, and the silver of my horn. The high school had collaborated with us, and we were going to play the Tempest. The director raised his baton, counting us off from four. I had never been so nervous. One, two, three, breathe, play. 

I started taking band in 6th grade. We didn’t start by bringing out the shiny new instruments. Mr. Matthews told us what we would do here, and that we would start learning to play in a month when everyone had their instruments. I had ordered a Bach Prelude trumpet from the music company working with the school. To be honest, the reason I chose trumpet was silly. When the music recruiters came to our school, the trumpet was the only one I could make noise on right away. Plus, it was shiny. 

Mr. Matthews began teaching us how to read sheet music and what all the italicized letters meant. We learned about naturals, flats, and sharps. For a month, we watched as Mr. Matthews taught us how to speak the language of music. Then, our instruments came.

Mr. Matthews opened the period with his usual “Good morning. Today will be different than usual. I need y’all to open your instrument cases and put them together. Let me know if you need any help.”

I smiled wide and pulled my case from underneath my chair. I put the mouthpiece in the trumpet and held it awkwardly. We hadn’t yet learned the proper way to hold it. 

Mr. Matthews came around to the trumpet section and picked up his personal horn from the table next to his podium. “Trumpeteers, move your fingers to match mine. It’s going to feel weird, but this is the correct way to hold it. Don’t put your pinky in the ring, it sits on top.”

We, the trumpet section, stretched our little hands to fit the valves and pipes. The position felt strange, so I put my horn on my lap and waited for the teacher to finish with percussion. 

Mr. Matthews handed out the first volume of books for each instrument. The book showed me how to hold my horn and what way to position my mouth so I could make a sound. The book described the trumpet embouchure as saying “oh,” and then “mm.” I picked up my trumpet to play for the first time, certain that I would sound beautiful. Academics and other hobbies had come to me easily, so surely this would as well.
Yeah, I was wrong. The first time I tried to play, the only sound coming out of the bell was sputtering. The sound was ugly and shaky. I hated it. Mr. Matthews gave all of us patient smiles.

“You’re not going to sound perfect on your first try. It will take at least a couple of months for your tone to sound clear, so practice every night!”

I did practice. I practiced until the corners of my mouth pinched in and my lips were numb. The next year, after summer, I could play a couple of longer pieces from the instruction book. I came back to find my best friend at the time playing much better than I ever had. I would spend the next two years of my band career playing catch-up to her, finally beating her and winning first chair in the 9th grade. When we got to 7th grade, my highest note was a trumpeter’s G or a concert F. We learned to play five or six pieces that year, and playing every day strengthened my embouchure to hold a high C. The next year, I could strain myself off the staff. This meant pinching my mouth closed and moving air very quickly through the horn. I couldn’t be prouder, but I still hadn’t reached the level of my friend at the time. I wasn’t putting in enough effort.

Fast forward to the end of the first semester for 9th grade. Christmas is fast approaching, and everyone in the high school band has been working on their etudes for the past month. I had practiced every day, playing along with videos of other musicians. I had been memorizing the full range of scales we were expected to know. I was ready, but I did not think I would be able to beat my friend yet. The highest note was a B flat, off of the staff. I strained, training my mouth to produce the note with as much clarity as I could get. 

I strode into the band director’s office with my music and my horn. I set the etude on the stand, worrying about how I was going to perform under pressure. 

“Just start whenever you’re ready.”

I nodded and took a few deep breaths. The piece in front of me was hard. I had only played in that time signature twice before, and the notes were far off the staff. My usual range definitely didn’t encompass this piece. I lifted my trumpet, breathed deep, and began to play. I had practiced with a recording, so I knew the appropriate speed and rhythms. At points, I ran out of air, so the dynamic suffered a bit. I played the piece I was given and passed off my scales. Then came the sight-reading. This was definitely not my strong suit. 

I played as best I could. I left the office, slightly worried about how my friend would do. I was certain that she would do better. She always did better.

 On the last day of school before winter break, a friend came up to me and told me I had gotten first chair. The four years of preparation were finally worth it. I had beaten my friend and gone to the top, and I work hard now to maintain my position.

Growing Up and Moving On

Katie Burke

“Katie come here we have to take our medicine,” yelled Hailley as she opened the M&Ms and started laughing. 

“I'm coming Hailley, but you gotta remember I’m old so I can't go very fast,” I paused for a second and asked, “Hailley why do I always have to be the old lady?” 

“Fine we can both be old ladies,” Hailley started laughing and said, “then we can pop our pills together.”

Hailley is about two years older than me, but she was always nicer to me than my other cousin Amiyah, who is only one year older than me. When we were little, Amiyah and I would go and stay at Meme’s during Thanksgiving break, and my mom would pick me back up on Thanksgiving when everyone comes for lunch. One time Amiyah, Hailley, Heidi, and I were playing with makeup and I wanted to look like the queen of hearts from Alice and Wonderland, so my cousins helped me do my makeup. “Off with their heads!” I started yelling after they got done with my makeup.

“Katie you can’t say that it's really mean,” Heidi told me.

“I dont care im the queen so I can say and do whatever I want I’m the queen,” I responded in a know-it-all voice. 

“Well fine if you don’t stop we aren’t gonna play with you anymore,” Amiyah told me in a snotty sort of way. 

After that I ran to the laundry room and started crying while I wedged between the washing machine and the dryer. “Katie’s a cry baby. Katie’s a cry baby,” Amiyah, Heidi, and Hailley started chanting. 

Then Meme rolls out of her room, “If all of y’all can’t get along y’all can go on to bed now because I am sick of y’alls fussing.”

After that I never really heard Amiyah make fun of me again at Meme’s house, but I think the main reason is because we all knew Meme would get her wooden spoon after us if we did act out. As the years passed on I went to Meme’s less and less. I’m not sure exactly why I did, but maybe it was because Heidi and Hailley became so busy with school or maybe it was because me and Amiyah didn’t get along much anymore. During the time of me not going to Meme’s my cousin Kim graduated highschool, and because I am her favorite little cousin, or more her favorite cousin over all, I went to her graduation. At the graduation I had seen Meme and Momma tea, who is Kim’s grandmother and my grandmother's sister. When Meme saw me, of course I gave her a hug and then she asked, “Katie, why don’t you ever come and stay with me anymore?” 

I had a feeling she would ask when she saw me, but I didn’t expect her to ask so soon, so I answered her like I answered everyone, “I dont know Meme.”

We all just kind of overlooked it and I had hoped that everyone had forgotten about it, but when my parents and I got in the car on our way home I found out that my mother had not forgotten Meme’s question, “Katie, your Meme loves you and she wants to see you more. I think you should go and stay a week with her this summer.” 

Being the good child I am I told my mother ok and that I would only if Heidi and Hailley could come too. That summer I went back to Meme’s and I didn’t stay much at Meme’s at all. I stayed more at Momma Tea’s house because that was where Hailley was staying, while Amiyah was at Meme’s with Heidi. One night during this stay me and Hailley decided it was a good idea to stay up late and play the Wii while eating pickles out of the big jar. When Hailley got mad at the game she got up and licked the tv and me thinking she was actually crazy said to her, “Hailley that’s nasty, why would you do that?” 

Her only response was, “ I got mad and it's better than punching the TV,” as she grabbed another pickle out the jar. 

The next morning, or so me and Hailley thought, Amiyah and Heidi had come down to Momma Tea’s too, and they came into the room where me and Hailley were sleeping and started to yell, “Earthquake yall get up there's and earthquake!” 

As me and Hailley rolled over in bed the other two told us Momma Tea said we had to get up, so to keep us from getting in trouble we got up and went to the kitchen and saw that Momma Tea had made muffins. We told Momma Tea good morning and then she looked at us and said, “It ain’t really morning anymore it’s almost lunch time.”

With me getting older I have learned that I can ask to do more. Because of me acting upon this I have gotten closer with Hailley and Kim, Meme’s cat likes me, well she doesn’t try and scratch me anymore at least. Now that I'm older and I have more say in where I am and when I have started trying to go to Meme’s more, and I hope that it will work out.